Once upon a time, I discovered the world of the internet and I have entered a city called the Fortune City in where chatters all around the world gathered. I made my move, created a name “Angel Princess Anya / APA / Crazy Anya” and interact with the people there. Not long before I made some friends; Apollyon, Tripman and DJ Techno. This Apollyon was such a lover, where in fact his nick means “The Distroyer.” Apollyon has made a mark in my heart, though he is often rude. He became my first love. We parted ways because we can’t handle the craziness of each other.

I then found MIRC, and this time renewed my identity to “Babsy.” I am not comfortable in chatting with some people near me, so I started to have a chat with a person living to a province next to mine. I live in Iloilo and I chatted with a person from Bacolod. His nick was “Suplado Kit.” I don’t know what is with me, but I seem to be attracted with people who have such a rude nick. Though his nick was rude, his personality is so much different. Kit became my First-Personal boyfriend. He treated me like a princess and showed me the care and love that I needed; He would open the doors of my car to let me and my mom in (such a gentleman), He would play bingo with my mom (that is why my Mom loves him) and He would give time every day off he has to visit me, from Sagay, Bacolod to Iloilo. Though this seems to be like a dream-come-true, I was not contented.

At the age of 19, I was overwhelmed with such attraction showed by men. While with Kit, I met Mark. Mark is such a texter that he often gives me a load (to tell you the lowest load available then, was 300) whenever I could not reply. Mark became my closest male friend, because he opens up to me about his problems with his girlfriend and I to him. This closeness lead us into feeling something we shouldn’t. Mark decided that we shouldn’t see each other because it complicates things. I was broken hearted. Eventually, Kit knew about Mark and then he broke up with me. Ouch!

Both Kit and Mark are fat, so whenever I go out, my eyes are attracted to fat people.

I continued my chat habit and this time I was ready to converse with someone close. I joined the Iloilo channel at MIRC. I was broken hearted then, so I keep on posting, “Wanted: Chubby guy, at least 5′7 tall and older than I am.” Someone who’s nick is “Simple Guy,” applied. We chatted, and the thing that I couldn’t forget about this guy is when I told him, I have a lot of bad experiences in life and he replied: “I don’t care about your past. Let’s have our own fresh start.” We did have a fresh start, then later I knew he already have a girlfriend. I gave way into their relationship, but continue the friendship with him. His girlfriend keeps on threatening me, and so he ended his relationship with her and came back to me. It was the start of my insecurity; “Now I am the girlfriend when before, I was the other girl. I wonder who is his other girl now?” This was the questions that keeps on bothering me. I often caught him having relationships with other girls through text or chat. This is why we are on and off and I became such a nagger, that every move he makes, I would suspect he would have someone else. Now, thats me being paranoid. Who wouldn’t with that kind of experience? It is hard to gain back the trust, but I was trying. With me being insecure, we often fight like cats and dogs, and when the time, we are not in a relationship with each other, we are so sweet, then with that sweetness, we would be back in each others arms again. We had a baby girl, but this does not stop us from being like cats and dogs. When we were off, he had a serious relationship with someone who is close to his family, I was lost, but I tried to move on. We could not avoid each other since we need our daughter to feel the warmth of both families. With us, seeing each other, we had created a baby boy. He broke up with his girlfriend upon knowing that I was pregnant. We tried to fix things, but again we lost touch. Though we became mature every-time we were together, I just couldn’t get a hold of him. Somehow, my insecurity has eaten the most of me, that I could not feel, nor he, the love we give from each other. This time again, he loves someone else. I respect his decisions. Of course, it hurts, specially because I have no special someone to hug and kiss, and valentines is nearing (not to mention I am turning 26 this January 30). Just seeing a heart shape breaks my heart.

Luckily when I was so down, God gave me someone whom I could talk to. I was again in contact with Apollyon, Mark and Kit. The three people who has been a special part of my life, helping me cope up with this broken heart of mine.

Apollyon is working as as system administrator, whom I could interact and ask questions regarding some coding and tech stuff about websites.

Mark is married, and his wife is due this coming May. My congratulations to him. Though we hardly communicate, he still gives me the praises I need.

Kit is also married and he has a 4 years old boy. He guides me spiritually and helps me bring everything to God. I often chat with him to express myself so that I wouldn’t go insane.

I am happy that the men I loved have found their happiness.

I know that one day, I would have a man that will love me for who I am and that we will be happy in each other’s arms.

So this is my lovelife for now …

This is my entry to evilwoobie’s Valentine Share Your Love Story Contest.

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