When The Night Has Come

• Posted: February 29, 2008
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• Author: Junelle
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• Filed under: Love, Simply Me
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• Tags: No tags set for this entry.

There were times at night I couldn’t sleep only to find myself thinking about life. This is one of those nights. I keep on thinking about my past, present and future. This what comes into my mind:

(To someone) If you think that losing that someone would mean the end of your life, you are wrong. You have yet to learn true love.
Indeed what they say is true, that true love means knowing to let go. You would be proud of yourself when you finally learn to how to love truly.

(To someone else) You know that if I wanted to I could have you with just a click of my hands, but why I choose to let you go. I love and therefore I sacrifice. I don’t think of just myself but what would be best for majority. I am not selfish. You should try it sometimes, to think of what is best for the majority and not just pleasure for yourself. You have to learn to be honest and love yourself first, before you could love someone else truly.
Why I am doing this? I am building for my future now. What is it for me to suffer for my present? I know in doing so, in the future I would be laughing and satisfied. To be able to give the people I love the things they need rather than for me to enjoy life now and in the future regret things. Because for what? I wasn’t able to do my best, or because I was blinded of my love for you that I could not see clearly what future would brings. To have given you everything I have including my pride. My love for you has eaten my personality. It has changed me from what I am before and made me become the achiever that I am now. If weren’t for you, I would be just contented on everything laid down on me. For I was a princess, who just commands and everything has been given. Before, you not being able to give me what I expect was something new for me and maybe it what leads me to know you deeper. It has, and it is not only you that I have known better, but your family, my family, my friends, my enemies and most importantly myself. To have been able to appreciate me, for why people around me look up to me. For why they were so disappointed for what I have become. But I wasn’t. I am happy now, much happier … and maybe if I am still with you, I wouldn’t be as happy.
Only the two of us knows what we have gone through and what we feel for each other. Who is such a bad liar and who is expert in it. It is not something I know others would understand, because they haven’t been through what we had.

(To another someone) I maybe a bitch and was a desperada. If you haven’t gone through that, then maybe you have yet to experience what I have or your life is just simply boring.

At times I pray to God:
“Lord, take my life now. I couldn’t see what difference I could make in or for my future. Just give the life you have shared to me, to someone who needs it the most.”
Yet our Creator choose to let me live. Everyday, it got me thinking, what else has God in-stored for me? I know someone could take care of my children and that people around me loves them and won’t leave them hanging. So, I would be happy leaving them. There seems to be no one needing me badly, that would really be dependent on just me. But, I will wait for my final mission in this world. Until then, you’ll see me around. If you are irritated with me, live with it. Who knows, I might be as irritated of you or even more than you are irritated of me.

If you have been on my side, you’ll know I cry a lot. With this, you will also know I have a strong personality. There is someone I admire for being strong. Maybe if not for her, I would think of life differently. She has been my model after seeing her bravely facing life after being Broken Hearted.

To all my inspirations. THANK YOU!

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